How ​​to have safer bareback sex

If you've been on Grindr or other 'dating apps' you've probably seen the term “bareback” – or BB for short. You're here, so you're probably thinking about sex without a condom. Or at least you're curious. Here are the answers to your burning questions and some considerations to make before embarking on the bareback movement.

What does “bareback” mean?

It means having penetrative sex without a condom.

Where did the term come from?

When the term first appeared in the mid-1990s in the gay press, it referred to intentional condomless anal sex between gay men living with HIV. Shortly thereafter, the definition changed and was used primarily to talk about people with a penis having anal sex with other people with a penis without using a condom. It has since been co-opted to refer to any type of penetrative sex without a condom.

Can anyone do it?

Yes, whoever wants to can.

How ​​risky is it really?

I'm not going to lie, it's risky. Exactly how risky is difficult to say as there are so many factors that affect risk. These factors include anything from how many partners you've had to whether you're being active or passive, and even if you're using enough lube.

What we can say for sure is that more than 1 million STDs are acquired every hour around the world, according to the World Health Organization (WHO) Trusted Source. Most STDs have no symptoms or symptoms so mild that they are difficult to recognize. This includes HIV, which can be undetectable. (More on that in a bit).

You or your partner can transmit an STD without even realizing you have it. Unless you skip partner sexual activity, barrier methods such as condoms are the most effective way to prevent the transmission of STIs. If you abandon these methods, you will be exposed… in more ways than one.

Are there any benefits?

Pleasure, for starters! The feel of their skin on yours, and their mouth and tongue, well, everything, is good. This is thanks to heat, humidity and friction. That said, pleasure shouldn't be your only motivator for abandoning barrier methods. The main benefit of sex without a condom is increased sensation. Many people report that the increased heat and the feeling of skin-to-skin contact increases their arousal and pleasure, although this alone is not reason enough to go without a barrier, so please don't let an insecure partner penetrate- you unless you are fully consenting.

There are some other potential benefits to bareabck sex, like bonding and intimacy. Skin-to-skin contact and even contact with seminal fluids and genital secretions have been linked to improved mood, reduced stress and depression, and a stronger immune system.

If you want to try, do it first

Barrier methods like condoms help prevent STIs and unwanted pregnancies, so going bareback means a higher risk for one or both, depending on the type of sex you're having. An open and honest conversation about risks, expectations and limits before bareback is critical.

Set expectations and discuss boundaries

Not to be a total killjoy, but if you haven't had the “where's this going” conversation yet, now is the time to do so. Set limits and expectations based on your situation. While some recommend that bareback sex be reserved for people in monogamous relationships, this may not be the right type of relationship for you.

If it is and you're both committed to not engaging in bareback sex with anyone else, great. If sex with other partners is on the table, committing to condom use with other partners is the safest way to have bareback sex with your partner. After getting your “expectations” right, it's time to talk about STI tests. Yes, even if you are monogamous.

Test for STDs and share your status

Unless neither of you have engaged in any kind of sexual act, STDs are a possibility and a conversation about status and testing needs to take place before saying goodbye to barriers. STDs and Q-tips might not be the idea of ​​sexy pillow talk, but it's necessary. Infections are not just transmitted by sex with a penis in the vagina or a penis in the anus.

If you're considering having bareback sex, make sure you and your partner are tested in advance and that you've communicated verbally about any high-risk activities you've been involved in recently. All STIs have an incubation period. So even if you've recently tested negative, if you're having unprotected sex, you might want to take two negative tests before bareback.

Testing is super important. Do it together, and then you'll have fun. That said, a positive test doesn't mean you need to permanently forget about bareback. Most STIs can be treated with a course of antibiotics, so just hold off on bareback sex until you're done with treatment and retest to make sure you're clean.

If you test positive for HIV, condoms are still recommended by experts outside of abstinence, but bareback sex doesn't have to be off the table. Antiretroviral therapy (ART) can help you control HIV and eventually reduce your viral load enough to be undetectable. Viral load is the amount of HIV in the blood, anal mucus and semen. A person with undetectable HIV (HIV-U) cannot pass the virus to other people.

Consider preventive medication

Preventive medication is available for certain STDs and another way to have bareback safe sex. PrEP – short for pre-exposure prophylaxis – is a drug you can take to prevent HIV if you are at risk because you are not using condoms and your partner is HIV positive or if you or your partner is having sex with other people.

FYI: HPV is the most common STD and is spread through intimate skin-to-skin contact. There are different strains of HPV and almost everyone will have at least one type during their lifetime. Depending on the type, HPV can cause genital warts and different types of cancer, including cervical, penile and throat cancer.

Assess any contraceptive needs

If pregnancy is a possibility and you or your partner doesn't want to get pregnant, you'll need to find a secondary birth control method. You have a few options to choose from, each with its own cost and effectiveness. A healthcare professional can help you find which one is right for you. Options include:

pills
Vaccine
intrauterine devices (IUDs)
diaphragm
contraceptive implant
contraceptive sponge
vaginal ring
spermicide
fertility awareness method (FAM)
surgery, such as a vasectomy or tubal ligation

No contraceptive method is 100% effective. It is important to seriously think about your options for an unexpected or unwanted pregnancy.

If you think you have been exposed to an STD

If there's a chance you've been exposed to an STD, go to a clinic or healthcare provider to get tested. STDs have different incubation windows and periods and may not be detectable or cause symptoms for days or weeks. You may need to come back for more testing. Still, early detection and treatment can help you avoid complications, so don't delay. Common STI symptoms include:

• unusual vaginal, penile, or rectal discharge
• bumps or genital sores
• genital or anal pain, burning or itching
• pain during sex
• pain or burning when urinating
• pelvic pain
• swollen lymph nodes in the neck or groin
• fever and chills