Asexualism

An asexual person may encounter many questions and doubts from others throughout life. As sex is an indispensable factor in the lives of many individuals, they find it difficult to understand asexuality.

How can there be someone who doesn't feel any sexual attraction? Is this even possible? Asexuality is, in fact, a sexual orientation with many particularities. The experience of asexual people tends to be lonely as few understand disinterest in sex.

Likewise, the scarcity of information about this sexual orientation and caricatured representations contribute to misunderstandings. But it doesn't always have to be that way! With empathy and knowledge, it is possible to understand and respect asexual people for their sexual preferences and needs.

What is asexuality?

An asexual person experiences little or no sexual attraction. But that doesn't mean that this person doesn't have sex, kiss and hug under any circumstances. She may be romantically attracted to another individual, as well as enjoying touching and having a desire to be in an affective relationship.

Asexuality is understood as a broad spectrum that brings together different levels of lack of sexual and romantic attraction. Romantic attraction is different from sexual attraction. The first concerns the desire to have a romantic relationship and perform romantic acts, while the second is linked to the desire to have sexual contact with another person(s).

Asexual people experience different degrees of both types of attraction, so it cannot be said that everyone is the same. For example, check out some sexual orientations that fall under the spectrum of asexuality:

• Demisexual: the person feels sexual attraction only after developing an affective bond with another person.

• Strict asexual: person who does not feel sexual attraction at any time.

• Graysexual: a person who feels sexual attraction only under certain circumstances.

• Fraysexual: person who feels sexual attraction only when there is no affective bond formed.

• Cupiosexual: a person who is not sexually attracted to others, but has a sexual desire and desire to have an active sex life.

• Fluid asexual: person who sometimes feels like a demisexual, sometimes feels like a graysexual. In other words, someone whose sexual desires occasionally fluctuate.

How do I know if I'm asexual?

Do you have doubts about your sexual orientation and believe you might be asexual? To reach a conclusion, you need to go through a small process of self-knowledge and reflect on your life experiences and feelings. You can ask yourself the following questions to try to understand you:

• Do I feel sexual attraction?

• Am I attracted to other people, whether of the opposite sex or the same sex?

• Do I feel pressured to enjoy sex because of influences from friends, family, spouses and the media?

• Have I ever forced myself to participate in sexual or romantic acts so as not to feel inadequate?

• Do I feel that there is something wrong with me because I am not sexually attracted to people around me?

• Can I enjoy my life without having to have sexual contact?

• Do I feel I can emotionally connect with another person without needing to feel physical or sexual attraction?

• What do I value in a love relationship?

• How does my partner see me?

If your doubts are multiple and you have difficulty both understanding and accepting your sexual orientation, you can seek psychological help. In addition to promoting self-knowledge, psychology works on self-acceptance so that the person in crisis stops suffering for being who they are.

Asexual people can relate

Asexual people can not only have romantic relationships, but many want to date, marry and have children. Relationships aren't just about sex, so couples with different sexual needs can also be happy together.

The complete absence or not of sexual attraction means that asexual people experience sex, dating, marriage, masturbation, orgasm, sexual arousal and other issues that involve human sexuality differently. However, they have the same emotional needs as people with other sexual orientations.

For the relationship between an asexual person and a person of another sexual orientation to work, dialogue, maturity and empathy are essential. Love, companionship, interest and intimacy can be present in the relationship, even in the absence of sex. Thus, the couple needs to come to an agreement on what is considered acceptable and what is not. It is possible for sexual intercourse to take place, but less often so that both partners are satisfied with the relationship. For that, the couple needs to talk. In the process, spouses may even discover that they enjoy specific aspects of sex or cuddling, enhancing their sexual experiences.

Lack of libido, celibacy, sexual abstinence and asexuality

Typically, an asexual person has little interest in sexual interactions with other people. It's different from losing interest in sex or opting for abstinence. Sexual abstinence and celibacy are choices. In both circumstances, an individual chooses not to have sex, which may or may not be a temporary decision. In the case of celibacy, this decision may be motivated by religious, cultural or personal reasons.

Already the lack of libido is the decrease in sexual drive, which can be related to various health problems. Low libido often affects well-being and relationship dynamics, particularly when it happens suddenly. Accustomed to a certain rhythm in their sex life, the couple can come into conflict when one of the spouses suffers from a lack of libido. To find out what the problem is, you need to see a doctor.

Asexuality is not a health condition

Many believe that if someone doesn't like sex, they have a mental or physical health problem. The initial belief is that all human beings should experience sexual attraction. The asexual person, then, should be concerned about their health status and seek treatment.
Like heterosexuality and homosexuality, asexuality is just a sexual orientation. There is nothing wrong with being asexual. Anyone who has no interest in sex shouldn't feel bad about it, even if they hear unpleasant comments from